Updates and shit…

I guess I’m getting used to my port…

A little.

But it still freaks me out because it is a foreign object IN MY BODY that I can SEE THROUGH THE SKIN and that is NOT FUCKING NORMAL!

Blech.

It still hurts but I was able to work out a bit and do a small amount of running today so I guess it’s healing okay?

Had my education meeting with the chemo peeps on Tuesday and I think it went well.  The NP was really sweet and kept telling us that no questions were stupid and never made us feel like we were being dumb or asking too many things.  I didn’t feel as overwhelmed as I did the first time I talked with the oncologist so progress?

According to the side effects sheets, with my particular chemo cocktail, I’m either going to be constipated or shitting my brains out. Puking or nauseated. Mouth sores, which I kind of knew about from TV but also those sores can appear from any place along that track that goes from your mouth all the way to your anus (fun!). It’s possible I’m going to be allergic to cold things. Like not sensitive, allergic.  The NP said her sister had this same ingredient and she had a sip of ice water once and her entire mouth and jaw froze up and she couldn’t talk for a couple of hours.  She also got into a car once where the air conditioner was blasting and her eyes swole shut.  The funniest one to me is that my bodily fluids (all of them!) are going to be toxic.  I told my husband that I’m going to be toxic in more ways than just my personality now!

The thing that bothers me right now about the chemo is the unknown.  I don’t know how my body is going to react to it so I can’t really plan anything.

Yesterday was my last day at work for awhile.

For more reasons then I want to type out here, I’m going on disability on Monday when I start my chemo.  I don’t really want to talk about it right now, but I want to chronicle everything so I’m putting it in here.

My brain is not a great place to be the last couple of days.