So it's not just natural bitchiness?

Have you ever been in pain for so long that you don’t even realize it anymore. You recognize that you are grumpy and emotional and don’t understand why.
For the last month I have been unable to breathe through my nose off and on. More on than off. I just kind of accepted it as a fact of life. I’m not sick. I’m not sneezing and my throat feels fine *knocks wood*. It never turns into anything other than feeling like someone has stuffed my nasal passages with cotton. My lips are completely chapped since I have become a mouth breather but that’s about it. I blow my nose and nothing comes out. It’s just plugged…there is no excessive mucus, it’s just swollen nasal passages.
The not being able to breathe is an obvious symptom, not something I can easily ignore but I was managing okay I think. The eating with my mouth open part was kind of gross but hey, what can you do?
The one thing that I didn’t really notice any longer was the sinus headache. I mean, I noticed it. It’s hard to ignore the pinching feeling under my eyes and the sensation that someone is constantly pushing in the front of my face, but I guess I just became accustomed to it.
At the same time I was wondering why I’m so cranky. I feel miserable and can’t quite pinpoint why. Sure, work is crazy and all but my attitude is making it even worse. I am snapping at people for no reason and even if I’m not doing it in person I’m thinking really rotten thoughts about people with no provocation of theirs. It had gotten to the point where I couldn’t stand living in my own brain. If I were one of my friends I sure as shit wouldn’t want to hang out with me right now. If I’m not snarky and bitchy then I’m emotional and crying for no reason. I’m surprised that Rob hasn’t sent me to a hotel until I get my shit together.
This morning I woke up and felt refreshed. It was a feeling I couldn’t quite place…oh wait. I felt GOOD! I was breathing through my nose! My head no longer felt like it was made of cotton candy! Whoa wait, is this what NORMAL feels like?
I got into work and I wasn’t ready to kill anyone.
I had forgotten what it was like to feel human.
I’m still a little congested and my nose is actually running and the mucus is breaking up. Ironically I’m probably getting sick and will feel worse before I get better but it’s given me hope.
I’m not just becoming a horrible person! I can recover from this! 🙂

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

About Me


I am a 40 something married woman living in California.
I enjoy knitting and crocheting, watching crap movies, snuggling with my two adorable dogs and trying to be a good person.

Follow me