Dear Neighbor, Lets Talk.

Dear Neighbor,

I am really sorry that the house you were living in while you were NOT fixing up your house next door, burned down.  I can’t even fathom being able to afford to live in one place for so many years, while you say you are rebuilding your house.  The truth is, your house got built up into a skeleton of a house.  The structure was there, but there was no outside or inside construction for many years.

It sucks that the place you were staying burned down and now you have to come back here and try to finish what was started.  You don’t really seem prepared for it.  Living in a driveway to an empty shell of a house in an RV with three kids and a wife has got to bite big time.  I get that.   You would think that alone, would be enough reason to speed up the work on your house.

I’m sure that you are aware that my house is at the very end of a one way, dead end street.  You would have to be, because on several nights we have had to get your attention from your RV, so that you could move the minivan that you parked smack dab in the middle of the road right before we could get to our house.

We were always very polite and laughed with you.  I never once complained when I had to get out of my car and move one of your childs Big Wheels into your driveway after it was left in the middle of the road, so I could get home and park in my own driveway.  Those are easy to move.

Lately, however it seems like you just plan on living in your RV, on your property and not really doing much to get yourself inside the sizable house that you own.  That in and of itself doesn’t bother me.

What bothers me is that despite the fact that you have two driveways, you still manage to invade our space with one or more of your cars.

Remember when our seasonal neighbors across the street had to put up a chain across there driveway?  Yeah, that was because you kept parking your POS van in their driveway while they were gone and it leaked oil all over their property.

I get that having an RV, a van and a car might be a tight fit for two driveways.  Perhaps you should have thought of that before you came back?  A few of our other neighbors have the same problem.  They park at the top of the hill and walk down to their property like responsible human beings.

For the last couple of weeks you have been parking in the space above our gate, in front of another seasonal neighbors gate because you know that he is rarely here.  What you don’t know, is when you do that, you make it impossible for my husband to leave for work in the morning without having to do a 3 point turn in our yard.  Tearing up our lawn and causing much frustration.

He is too nice to say anything about it and since I have a zippy little Honda Fit that can zip in and out of most tight spaces without trouble, I never knew this was an issue until recently.

Tonight however, you finally took the cake when I got home to find your crappy van parked halfway into our drive space.  I could barely get my Fit into our driveway without hitting you.  If your car is still there in the morning, Rob will NOT be able to leave for work without bothering you.  There is no way our Odyssey will be able to maneuver around your car.  That will make him late for work because you are more than likely still sleeping at that point.

You can understand the fragility of being nice neighbors and not wanting to rock the boat.  Especially in this day and age, when things can turn violent very fast.  But dude!  You park under a no parking sign every single night in front a property that isn’t yours!  Have some common courtesy!  It’s getting fucking ridiculous!

I will never send this letter, of course.  I’m only a bitch to you if I know you fairly well, but I’m sick of people being stupid!  And you are.

Love and Kisses,

Kelly