Redirect Your Anger

So I’ve been flirting writing with this blog for a little bit now.  It’s something that has been irritating me a lot lately and that is people trying to make other people feel guilty because their lives are going well due to their life choices.  Maybe it’s PMS that is helping me write it now.

An example is something that we deal with every day from customers at work that live on the east coast or another snowy, cold location.  They call in and after they complete whatever they called in for they ask how the weather is out in California.  They DO NOT care what the weather is like out in “sunny California”, they simply want to use that as a springboard to tell you how MISERABLE the weather has been where they live.  And if you so much as dare to tell them that it has been a little “chilly” lately they will scoff and tell you “don’t know cold” because they are expecting snow and or *insert-put-you-in-your-place-reply-here*.

Guess what sir?  I lived my first 25 years on this planet in the cold and snow in Maine.  I shoveled snow and drove in hail and freezing rain and I HATED EVERY MINUTE OF IT!  So guess what I did?  I fucking moved!  Everyone has a choice and I chose to move to a warmer climate, so try and remember that when you want to one up me on how much you are suffering.

It’s not a fucking competition!  I don’t understand why everyone wants to make it one!

Recently Rob and I paid off our credit cards.  In Arizona we used our credit cards to pay for things we didn’t need, like trips to Vegas – I’ll own that.  But when we moved to California and both took a pay cut, those credit cards quickly became a means to survive.  Years and many pay raises later, we were able to start paying large amounts on the principles of those credit cards and that led to the eventual paying off of the balances.  Once that happened we found ourselves with a small abundance of cash flow freed up and decided to start saving for new things.  So far I have a new Ipad, Rob a new computer and we had a nice little trip to Vegas.  We also have enough saved up already to buy a well deserved new mattress.  The one we have is older than our marriage and the reason for many crooked necks and backs.

Now to be fair a lot of people have given praise for us being able to do this and that is cool, but I don’t need or expect your praise.  But what I ALSO don’t need is your guilt trip about how you are poor and I am buying semi expensive things.  I’ve done my time.  And yes, I am fully aware that part of the reason we are no longer in credit card debt is the fact that we have no children.  But guess what, we didn’t want any!  So go cluck your tongue at the fact that you have to buy diapers somewhere else!  We made a choice just as you did.  I’m sorry that you are in debt right now because you have kids.  Someday they will grow up and support you but you don’t see me guilting you about that fact that we don’t have anyone to take care of us when we are old do you?  I also don’t guilt you about all the love and milestone moments you receive that we do not.  Sometimes I wish I had that too but in the long run I know that wasn’t for me…but you will never hear me bitching about it to you!

I guess what I’m trying to say is maybe you should stop and think about the other persons situation before you pass judgement or talk shit behind their back.   Does it make you feel better about your own situation to make another person feel bad about their achievements that they have worked for in life?  If it does, maybe you need to just sit back and think about what that means…