Romie…

I’m not sure if Romie will make it through the night. 

What happened was that I came home from work last night and he didn’t greet me to shove past me out the door to go pee like usual.  He sort of walked stiffly out of the bedroom and looked at me.  I had to coax him out and even then he only went a few steps, peed and pooped and again just stood there looking off into space.  I had to take him by the collar and bring him back in.

Normally I feed them right then and there and if I don’t, Romie bugs me until I give in.  It so happened that we were out of dog food that night and I was waiting for Rob to bring some home from the store. But Romie just simply stood looking like a zombie until he finally laid down and didn’t budge…not even when Rob came home with the food.

Rob was able to feed him a small handful of food but he still didn’t move.

Later in the night Rob tried to get him up to at least go outside and as soon as he stood his breath became very labored.  That happened the two times Romie managed to stand and walk a few steps.

At that point we were pretty sure that it was the beginning of the end.  We put him on a blanket before we went to bed…pretty sure he’d be gone by morning.  He didn’t appear to be in pain, and the guy is sixteen years old so we figured there was no point in rushing to the vet.

This morning he was still alive but pretty much immobile.  He drank from the water bowl we brought him but refused food. 

Timing being as crappy as it was, we had to go to my inlaws for thanksgiving dinner.  That was a hard decision.  In the end we went, bringing Pappy with us so he wouldn’t bother the big guy.

Right before we left, Romie didn’t move anywhere but just let his bladder loose and peed all over the carpet.  I was pretty sure he would be gone when we got home.

When we finally did, he was in the same position as we left him.

I got him to drink some more water and lick a little bit of peanut butter off my finger but he wanted nothing to do with his dog food.

He still doesn’t appear to be in pain and seems quite content just to lay on his side and sleep.  We did roll him over just a few minutes ago so that he doesn’t have any complications for laying on one side for too long.

Tomorrow if he is still alive we will take him to the vet.  Even if he is dying from old age it appears to be very slow and there is no reason to let him starve to death.

We want him home with us when it happens but at this point it is just cruel to let him starve and be dehydrated.  It’s a long shot but if they do have to put him down we want to know if there is a way we can do it at home.  We want him here with us and after it is over we want to bury him in our inlaws yard where Sarah is.

I’m much more level headed about this today than I was last night or this morning. 

Rob and I had always discussed in passing: “When Romie goes…” but I never really allowed my head to think it was really going to happen.  Last night I had no other choice but to accept that reality.  Sure, there will be a lot more tears and sadness…but I’ve had a chance to wrap my head around the fact that it is inevitable.

I called my mom tonight and she said: “Well we’ve been through this before…” but I had to remind her that when we finally had to put my childhood dog Mitzi down, we hadn’t lived with her for over a year.  We were forced to move into a place that didn’t allow pets so she had to stay with my grandparents for that last year of her life.  It allowed me to separate myself more from the situation.

Pappy is depressed too.  He doesn’t understand why his brother won’t play with him anymore.

My girls, Paula and Jenn have shown we the meaning of true friendship in the last day and a half.  They have been here for me through this…knowing this is as close as losing a family member for me and I am so grateful to them I can’t put it into words.  Love you bitches.

So that’s about it from here. 

Please keep Romie in your thoughts…that he either makes a full recovery or makes a safe and painless transition to a better place.

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