The Big Four OH!

So turning 40 is a thing that is happening remarkably soon, and I have a very big decision to make because of that.

Am I going to be the 40 year old that embraces growing old wholeheartedly and shouts from the rooftops how proud I am to be 40 and how I’ve earned every one of these grey hairs and blah, blah, blah.  OR, am I going to be that 40 year old that shuns getting older and starts to count her birthdays backwards?

Both can be equally annoying; I’m sure.

40 seemed so old when I was in my 20’s.  It honestly didn’t seem like something that I would need to worry about.  Not that I thought I wouldn’t make it 40…it just seemed like I would be young forever.  Funny thing about youth, time passes very slowly, and you think you have all the time in the world.  The older you get, the faster it seems to go, and it feels like it starts to get away from you.

As the years have passed, and the wrinkles appeared, I did pretty much stay in a constant state of denial.  The greys got plucked out as soon as they appeared, and the wrinkles got Photoshopped out of every picture before it was posted to social media.  Voila, I’m 28 again!

Lately, the greys are coming faster than I can yank them out.  Oh, and by the way WTF is up with the grey eyebrow hairs??  Really?  Not only am I losing my eyebrows but now the ones that are left are going to come in grey??  Hmph!  The wrinkles?  Well, they are getting so deep that Photoshop just makes darker fuzzy lines when I try to fix them.

I always thought I would be the type to grow old gracefully, but then again I never thought I would have to worry about it.  I was told time and time again when I was younger that when I got older I would appreciate my “baby face”.  Every time I got annoyed at being carded for cigarettes in my 20’s they said I would wish for that when I got older.  At the time, I rolled my eyes…now, not so much.

Oh and just to go off on a minor rant, if I’m going to get wrinkles can I at least get rid of the acne??  I have more zits at 39 than I ever had as a teenager.  Isn’t there supposed to be some sort of trade off??

Anyhoo, I don’t think I’ll rule out plastic surgery in my future.  I don’t think I’d do an actual face lift, but at this stage in the game laser treatments and chemical peels don’t sound too bad.

So what I have learned about myself as I have gotten older is that yes, I am vain.  I like to look good.  It depresses me a little when I realize that I can’t just go barefaced and flash a smile and get the same results as I did when I was 20.  And furthermore, when I was 20 and didn’t think I was attractive I was fooling myself.  I look back at pictures now and realize I was a very pretty girl.  It’s a shame I never fully realized it.  Or was it more of a blessing?

I guess it doesn’t really matter anymore.

So I turn 40 in 47 days.  Should I celebrate or hide under the covers in my bed until it passes?

I guess if this is the worst of the problems I have in my life, I’m doing pretty good.  😀