So this morning started much like any morning.  I was a bit more tired than usual because we didn’t get out of the rehearsal for Old Ringers until like nine thirty or so, but I can deal with that.

Showered and felt a bit of a sensation in my right middle finger.  No, not just that I wanted to flip someone off!

If you follow me and my blog at all you will know that usually means trouble.  I have had it happen before and mean nothing, but most times it means that I am in big trouble.

I’m too lazy to actually look in my archives for this so let me just give you a BRIEF recap:

Ever since I was like 20 years old I get an infection in my finger that flairs up about once or twice a year.  I have been admitted to the hospital for it several times.  I have had it biopsied, flushed out and for all other purposes examined but no one can tell me how to stop it.

When I get it, it spreads very fast.  It goes from a spot on my finger to blood poisoning that travels up my arm in the span of hours.  If I can’t nip it in the bud I usually wind up on IV antibiotics in the hospital or urgent care, because I am that cool.

It’s NOT FUN!

Anyhoo,  REALLY long story short, this morning, I called my doc who knew my history and she said she would call in my prescription for the antibiotic.

Three hours and FIVE phone calls later the prescription finally got called in and I was able to pick it up on my lunch hour.

The first dose is in me and I was able to lance it a little when I got home but really if the past is anything considering, I will have blood poisoning up to my wrist at the least when I wake up.

I’m so sick of this shit.

This was honestly the first time I was able to catch it at first *sense* so I hope that tomorrow will be better, but history tells me the blood poisoning will be up to my wrist when I wake up.

Meh.

I guess it has been going on two weeks now that I have been unable to shake a headache. It started with just a headache…like I was getting sick but the sickness never materialized. This week the headache progressed to a neck ache. A full on throbbing at the base of my skull radiating down through my neck. The only way I could describe it was that it felt like my head was too heavy for my neck.
When it started I thought that maybe my eyes were finally going bad on me because it usually worsened by the end of the work day when I’d been staring at the computer screen for 8 hours. It continued through the weekend though not as bad so I figured I was getting sick.
Now I’m chalking it up to a bad alignment in my neck. It makes sense because it gets bad when I tense up those muscles. Yesterday someone came up behind my cube and startled me and I was in agony.
It also throbbed after I did a very tiny jog down the hallway yesterday. And it was extremely painful after I was stressing over a phone call for a callback on my last audition.
I’ve been surviving my days with a heading pad around my neck and Advil kicks it back to a very mild annoying pain, but after two weeks of it I am getting a little crazy.
I now have new sympathy for those who suffer from chronic migraines. I can’t even imagine. I’ve cried at some point every day for the last three days and have been an absolute bitch, snapping at people for no reason.
I have an appointment with my chiropractor tonight after work so of course it feels better today.
The only thing that I have done different is I have my hair up in a ponytail currently…so that made me wonder if my hair is getting too heavy for my head. It is down to my waist now but it’s very thin so I dismissed that. What I am not doing as a result of my hair being up is tossing my head around to get the hair out of my face and off my shoulders which brings me back to the alignment.
I guess I’ll find out tonight.

Time for my annual year in review!

We started off January with a bang participating in the 5K Resolution Run in Carmel.  Shilo tested our parenting skills by sucking on an advil and forcing us to take a trip to the doggie emergency room.  I celebrated five years at my current job.  I lost 13 pounds on a purification diet and had lots of fun rehearsing O Brother.

In February O Brother opened to rave reviews and sold out shows.  Rob and I did the Together With Love 5K in PG and rehearsals started on Clockwork where I discovered I am not cut out for stage managing, but manage to snag a role as Alex’s mom in the show.  Also, Shilo graduated from Puppy obedience classes.

March found us visiting our old stomping grounds in Arizona for a final renewal performance by Eating Divas.  The PT Cruiser died on me for the first(but not the last time) stranding me in Monterey late at night.  I learned that you really CAN count on family during a family crisis, be it family by blood or by marriage(looking at you Michaela).  I learned to knit for my part in Clockwork Orange and discovered I loved it and I dyed my hair a very dark brown.

In April, we discovered we were no longer able to rely on the PT, so for the first time in our lives we bought a brand new car.  I discovered the music of Adele and my life would never be the same.  Auditioned for The Rocky Horror Show.  Rob and I headed out for a two week trip to Maine to take clear out my mom’s old house.

May found us still in Maine where I was able to catch up with a lot of my friends from high school.  I jacked up my back pretty badly sleeping on the floor the night before we left Maine.  Back home,I suffered a mild depression at the lack of theater in my life and I also turned 37.

I got my theater fix back in June by putting make up on drag queens for the production of The Birdcage.  I attempted the Purification Program again but couldn’t stick to it like I did last time.  Despite my vow to never do another half marathon I found myself signing up for Vegas again.

In July Rob and I got hit with the stomach flu, we had The Birdcage cast party at Koly’s place and Rocky Horror rehearsals started.  Also I chopped off Rob’s hair in front of his entire company so he could donate it to Locks of Love.  I take a weekend by myself at the end of the month and get a hotel room to relax…that doesn’t end up happening when I put a big dent in our new van and worry about telling Rob the entire weekend.

I was saddened in August by the death of a good friend from high school.  My world was further rocked  by an emergency room trip with a very sick husband that was possibly one of the most scariest experiences of my life, thankfully he was fine.  Heather arrived in town making us all very happy and Rob and I celebrated 11 years of marriage.

September opened with being part of a parade in Marina to promote The Rocky Horror Show and Rob getting a gig playing the Monterey County Fair.  There was a rabid infestation of oak tree worms and the phrase “worm rape” was coined.  Rob and I had a blast at Jay’s Pirate party and then took a trip to Great America where more fun was had.  The Rocky Horror Show opens it’s seven week run.

In October I participated in my first ever Flash Mob to promote Rocky Horror and started my 3 week HCG diet with great success.   My back kept getting jacked up and I finally had to “learn” how to fall from Koly during the Time Warp number.  Shilo had her last baby tooth extracted but sadly, there is no tooth fairy for dogs.  The power went out at Paper Wing, but the show still went on, and Rocky Horror closed on Halloween with a bang.

November arrived and with it, the Rocky Horror Plague as way over half the cast and I got very sick with head/chest colds right after closing.  I updated my Iphone and lost all my apps and contacts.  Post theater depression loomed large with no upcoming projects on the horizon.

It was Viva Las Vegas in December when Rob, my bestie Paula and I traveled to Vegas for a fun vacation and my 2nd half marathon.  The trip was a near disaster when Rob’s glasses broke on the drive in but thankfully, it all worked out in the end.  Back home I floundered with no acting outlet but decided to try my hand at songwriting.

We are here in Vegas and let’s just say it has been an eventful trip so far.
We packed up the van for it’s first road trip and the amount of room available in this thing is just amazing compared to the old PT.  In the PT we would have to remove one of the back seats completely and then it would be jam packed to the ceiling with all of our gear.  In the van we stuffed 3 suitcases, 2 guitars, a case of water bottles, a giant bag that Paula gave us to transport, and my toiletry case without even having to remove Shilo’s dog crate AND still had the whole backseat empty AND room for groceries we bought in Bakersfield!
Bakersfield…
This is where our story goes awry dear readers.
We stopped at an Albertson’s in Bakersfield to get some supplies for the trip.  While shopping, Rob noticed that one of the screws in his glasses was loose.  He told me to remind him to get his leatherman out and tighten them.  We finished shopping and stopped down the street for some gas.  I reminded him about his glasses and went into the Subway attached to the gas station to get us some dinner.
When I emerged with the food I found Rob messing with his glasses outside the gas pump.  I got in the car and had a couple bites of the sandwich when I realized all was not well.
Apparently while tightening one of the screws Rob had inadvertently stripped the opening, popping them open and resulting in one of the lenses falling out.  Because it was stripped he couldn’t get the screw to go back in.
Rob has REALLY bad eyesight so without his glasses he is pretty much blind.  He ALWAYS brings a back up pair of glasses for that very reason but last week his main pair had the same thing happen to him so he was in fact, wearing his back up glasses on this trip.  He had no other options.
I had thrown an eyeglasses repair kit that I had at work in my purse while cleaning out my desk that day so I gave it to him and he began the very painful and frustrating process of trying to fix the problem.  Unfortunately it wasn’t going to happen.
I have 20/20 vision(knock wood) so I can’t even imagine the level of frustration that he was feeling.  To basically be rendered helpless when something like this happens.  I just can’t fathom it.
Finally he sent me into the minimart(because he couldn’t see to go in himself) to get some superglue and in a last ditch effort we were able to temporarily fix the situation.
The second really big problem happened after we finally got to Vegas.
We booked downtown because we wanted to go cheap…we decided on the El Cortez because we had stayed here a number of years ago when we came on my birthday with my friend Renee.  The room was pretty nice and cheap.  While looking at their website we saw that it wasn’t THAT much more expensive to stay in their new “Cabana Suites”.  The pictures on the website looked nice so we got excited and booked it.
When we finally got checked in and went to our room at four in the morning we discovered a TINY little cracker box of a hotel room.  And to make matters worse they had filled the room with GIANT furniture to try and make the decor look more chic.  We were shocked.  Also, there were no dressers or anywhere to put your clothing.  So in a room that small you would have to keep your suitcase out to get your stuff out.

In addition to the incident earlier and the sheer exhaustion, this room just took the cake.  We milled around and discussed the logistics of it.  It just didn’t work for us.  If I were sleeping and Rob wanted to play guitar he would basically have to do it either in the bathroom or at the foot of the bed I was sleeping in.
Finally I called the front desk and asked if we could be moved to one of the rooms we had been in all those years ago with Renee for the duration of our stay.  She said yes, I asked if we could see the room first and she said to come on down she would give us a key.

When we got up to the room it was like a breath of fresh air.  It was so much bigger with a giant dresser, a desk, a chair, a sofa and a coffee table.  Perfect!  We switched immediately and it was like a weight was lifted off our shoulders.
We finally got to sleep around six in the morning.

Woke up the next morning with two things on the agenda.  We had to hit the marathon expo to get my bib number and also hit a LensCrafters to get Rob some new glasses.  The superglue was not going to last the whole week and Rob had a prescription in his wallet for his glasses even though it was over a year old.
Last year we hit the Expo on a Saturday and it was a MADHOUSE.  I’m really claustrophobic and it was a nightmare for me.  This year we got there on a Friday afternoon and while it was still packed it was soo much better.  We were able to actually partake in some of the games and merriment of the affair.  There was some contest where you fill out a form and give it to the Prize Center and you can win something.  It looked like you could only win things like a beanie, a handkerchief, wristbands….things like that.  Well you could have knocked us over with a feather when Rob won us a pair of Brooks running shoes!  Over 100.00 value!  And just in time for me to replace my shoes!  Ha!  Things were indeed looking up.
We left the Expo loaded with freebies and headed over to the mall for Rob’s glasses.
The thing with Rob having such bad vision, is that his glasses get really expensive.  However, he has some vision insurance so we were relying on that.  Yeah, you can guess where this is going…
They didn’t take our insurance and they couldn’t honor Rob’s old prescription so that meant we would also have to pay for an eye exam.  We couldn’t afford it.  We explained our problem to the woman and she looked at his glasses.  She declared that she could just replace the screw.  Rob advised that it was stripped and a screw wouldn’t work.  She countered that they could rethread it with a bigger screw and off she went.  Ten minutes later Rob’s glasses were saved and it was FREE!!!  We tipped her a twenty because she basically saved our trip.
Finally it felt like the dark cloud of this trip had been completely lifted and we headed back to the hotel.
As we arrived in the parking garage, I got a text from my BFF Paula that she had landed and was in Vegas.  Hooray!!!  🙂
While she waited on her bag and the taxi, Rob and I headed of to Mamita’s.  We had discovered this gem of a local Mexican/Cuban restaurant when we stayed at this hotel with Renee.  In fact if you happen to be the proud owner of one of my husband’s “Bubble Bath” CD’s, flip it over and look at the cute picture of us on the back.  That was taken in the back booth of Mamita’s.
We were waiting on our takeout when Paula called us.  She was in the lobby of the hotel, she was checked in but was having a hard time finding her room.  I beat feet over to the lobby to rescue her.  🙂
She was in a Pavilion room so it wasn’t in the same tower as us.  It was one of the weirdest set ups I have ever seen.  Basically it was on floor of outside hotel rooms on top of a parking garage.  Not exactly safe looking but I was encouraged that you at least had to have a room key to get up to that floor.
We dropped off her bags in her room and chatted for a bit before heading over to my room to eat some yummy tortas and hang out.  After we ate we headed downstairs to get our players cards and play gamble.  Got a quick drink at the bar and settled in at a set of slot machines that hated us so we quickly moved on.  The machines we picked were pretty good to us.  We played for a couple of hours on 20 bucks and Paula was actually winning.
Finally, only getting five hours of sleep the night before hit me hard and I had to retire to my room.  I think at that point I was down fifteen bucks and Paula was up by 90 or so.
Saturday morning Paula made me wake up earlier than I would have liked so we could all go to breakfast.  Rob got an omelet while Paula and I got what we called the Lumberjack’s Special.

Two eggs, bacon, sausage, potatoes and a short stack with coffee and juice and a side of biscuits and gravy.  We made a pretty good dent in it too!  I only had enough left of the pancakes to take back to the room with us.
We parted ways with Paula and headed up to our respective rooms for a small nap before reuniting and heading out to the Meadow’s Shopping Mall.  Rob had gotten a Salvation Army contact here in Vegas and got a gig outside Macy’s playing Christmas songs on his guitar for donations.

While he got set up Paula and I did what any self respecting woman would do if faced with two hours to kill in a mall.  We shopped and ate.  Because our lumberjack breakfast apparently wasn’t enough for us we had to stop at Hot Dog On A Stick and get some lunch and Johnny Rockets to get me a chocolate peanut butter milkshake    …yeah, it was as good as it sounds.  🙂
Two hours later we were shopped out so we waited for Rob in the car because it was FREEZING outside and then finally we headed back to the hotel where another nap was had.
Around seven thirty I got up and started getting ready.  We were meeting our friend Aimee at the Excalibur to go see Thunder From Down Under.  We hadn’t seen Aimee in a long time and the irony was not lost on us that we lived very close together and it took a trip to Vegas to have a get together.  Aimee was also running the half marathon with me the next day.
How do you prepare for the night before a marathon?  We had cocktails and watched a bunch of oiled up half naked men dance.  Seemed like the right choice at the time.  😉
We took a cab to the Excalibur.  I closed my eyes the entire time because the cab driver was apparently a retired nascar driver or something.  At one point I heard Paula gasp and I looked up.  She just patted me on the arm and said: “Keep ’em closed honey, keep ’em closed.”
We survived and managed to meet up with Aimee at the bar outside the Thunder theater where there was drinking and laughter.

There were a couple of bachelorette parties in the bar and so this cute bartender jumped up on the bar and announced a free shot for the bride to be.  He took a bottle and poured a shot of red liquid into the bride’s mouth and then proceeded to do the same to her entire party.  Us girls just watched and laughed until he saw us and walked over to us, still on the bar and demanded we do the shots too.  We all said no, no, no…we couldn’t and then of course we did.  Heh.  I asked him what was in it and he just winked and said he made it himself.  He placed a towel under my chin and it was down the hatch!  It tasted very fruity and I suspect there wasn’t much alcohol in it since they weren’t charging for it.  🙂  Then it was Paula and Aimee’s turn.  The only one that actually got caught on camera was Aimee.  Priceless!

The show was to start at eleven and the doors were supposed to open at 10:30 but apparently there were some really horny women from the earlier show still inside refusing to leave.  Finally we were able to get in and get our seats.
This would be Paula and I’s third Thunder show.  The first one we went to we fell in love with a hottie dancer named Donovan.  Planned the second trip and show around seeing him dance again and much to our disappointment he had been on vacation.  We were SURE he had to be there this time…Yeah, not so much.
It was still a great show and since it was Aimee’s first time seeing it, her reactions were worth the ticket price alone!!  She had so much fun.  She had told us earlier that she hadn’t had a girls night out since her oldest daughter was born…and she’s in kindergarten now!  I was so glad we were able to provide her with such a fun night!!

To be continued

Tonight started much like any Friday night.

I arrived at the theater, put on my make up and hung out for a while. I had been in a bad mood and as usual the humor of my cast mates cheered me up.

Nothing seemed out of place. We headed out to the stage for our vocal warm ups and our stretches. There was a mic check. All seemed to be going according to plan.

We were waiting for our director to come out and give us our usual pow wow(pep talk) before we opened the doors for the audience when all of a sudden the power flashed off. It came right back on so we all laughed about how that would have sucked to have the power go out when it flashed off again.

Our director Koly appeared and let us know she was going to call the electric company but that should that happen again during the show we would have to have some flashlights handy so we can escort the audience out in a safe environment.

Aaaaaaand that is when the power went out for good.

Turns out the power blew out on the whole block.

There was some talk of ghost stories and campfires and that sort of thing but it soon became apparent the power wasn’t coming back on anytime soon.

With a line of people already waiting outside to come in and enjoy the show, I don’t think there was ever a doubt in Koly’s mind that she wasn’t going to be able to give these people the show they wanted to see. She went into damage control mode. People were dispatched to find a generator and she went out to let the crowd know the show would go on it would just be a little late.

There were some snags in getting the generator but eventually it was procured and brought to the theater. After much hard work from the cast and crew it was up and running and the show went up an hour later than normal with full sound on the band, a spotlight and the microphones. That was it.

And the crowd loved it!!!

Backstage, we managed with flashlights and laughter. It’s not easy to change into your costume and do your make up in the dark but our cast managed not only with minimal complaints but an overall great attitude about being involved in such an epic experience.

At the end of the night everyone had given it their all and it paid off “in abundance”! The audience was happy, the cast and crew were exhausted but proud of what had been accomplished and the night was over.

As was quoted by a member of the cast, Lucas: “Where there is a Wing, there is a way.”

I am soooooo blessed to be a part of this production.

So I started the HCG diet.
If you feel the need to leave a comment and tell me dangerous that is or how no one can possibly live of 500 calories a day, please move your cursor 0ver to the google search bar, type in “Judgmental Asshole” and press the search button to kindly leave my page.  Ktnxbye!
I did three loading days instead of two and didn’t gain so that was pretty cool.
I started the VLCD(very low calorie diet) on Monday and have been doing okay.  A little cranky the first day but not really hungry. Yesterday I the mistake from upping my drops so I could only take them twice a day instead of three times a day and I was starving most of the afternoon. I switched back to three times a day today and it s been much better.
As of this morning and two days on the program, I nave lost 3.6 lbs.
What I have discovered most of all in starting this diet is how many people love to tell you how you are going to fail And if you don’t fail, how you are going to kill yourself trying.
I’ve been told repeatedly how no one can possibly live on such a small amount of food without that person knowing anything about the diet itself.  What they really mean is that THEY couldn’t bring THEMSELVES to sacrifice their burgers and fries to follow a low calorie diet.
And let’s not forget how DANGEROUS it is to eat so little.  To which I want to point out that I’ve been sticking my finger down my throat a lot again lately…should I go back to that?  Is that better for me?  But I can’t say that.   I can only admit that to the anonymity of the internet and a small and close group of friends.
Of course if I really want to admit to myself the truth, it isn’t all about the diet.   More about how people are proving to me that there is a reason I tend to distance myself from others. You open up to people and you get let down. You let people into your world and realize that people in general are just self centered jerks that don’t really care about what is happening in your life.  They just want to know so they can spread some gossip or laugh about your predicament behind your back.  Either that or they only contact you when they want something.  Be it a favor, something of material value or simply just supplying information that you have or can obtain for them.
I am aware that that statement is a huge generalization but it’s been proven to be true more often than not lately so take that any way you would like to.
Anyhoo, I’m gong to start updating my diet blog with my observations on the HCG diet so if you are interested or curious you can hop over there and check it out.
The rest of this was just pretty much a rant but hey. its my blog and I’m allowed to rant here if I want right??

I’ve felt really ugly and unattractive the last few weeks.   I know I keep gaining and losing the same five to ten pounds and I’m sure a lot of it rides on that.  Or maybe it’s just that I’m getting older and I don’t look the same to myself as I used to.  In the mirror where I used to see clear skin and bright eyes, I now see wrinkles, enlarged pores and bags under my eyes looking back at me.

I realize aging happens to all of us and most of us don’t want it to happen.  While I am not fond of the idea, I guess I’m pleased that as I near the age of forty(less than three more years!) my face hasn’t taken as bad of a nose dive as it could have.  I’m just starting to get a hint of crows feet and a slight set of laugh lines.  My forehead has always been my worst problem area.  As a sarcastic teen/adult it was always cool to raise my eyebrows and furrow my brow and I am now paying the price.  I guess if it gets to me too bad I just give myself bangs, problem solved.

No, this hasn’t been as much about what I see in the mirror, it is more about how I feel in my own skin.  I had stopped working out and was eating poorly.  That always makes an impact on so much more than my clothing size, it makes me feel yucky in general.  It breeds depression and anxiety for me and I always forget that until I change my habits and start feeling good again

This past week I have stepped up my game.  The 1/2 marathon is just three months away and I have been doing nothing in the way of training.  That has changed.  Not only have I been walking two miles on my lunch break almost every day, I have decided to start eating better as well.  I may not always succeed in it but I AM making better choices most of the time and it is making a difference.

I feel my body shrinking but more important, I feel my head clearing.  It is amazing how taking a half an hour out of my day to work out and not being a slave to food makes such a huge impact on your mind and body.

Today I woke up, showered and pulled a dress I have never worn out of my closet.  I had bought it a few months ago on Ebay and it is a size 16.  I never tried it on because, I wasn’t a size 16.

Not only did it fit, but it looked GOOD!  I dressed it up with a belt and shoes and even put some make up on.

I got a lot of compliments on how I looked today and while I appreciated them, I didn’t need them.  I FELT good. I felt pretty and attractive and I hadn’t felt that way in a while.

Sometimes we all need those days.  I sure did.